MARRIAGE
INTERACTIVE BIBLE STUDY

How to have a happy marriage? Study what the Scriptures teach about marriage, sex, adultery, homosexuality, polygamy, and family health and happiness.

"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh" (Eph. 5:31).

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How to have a happy marriage?

The following answers present several popular beliefs:
  • A. Marriage is out-of-date and all of its benefits and blessings can be enjoyed without it.
  • B. Marriage is love. As long as any two people love each other, whether two men, two women or a man and a woman, the marriage is blessed.
  • C. It doesn't matter if I am unhappily married, because I can always divorce.
  • D. Marriage is happy when enjoyed according to God's Word.
Let's look in the Bible for the answer...




Marriage is an opportunity and profound responsibility

1
"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones" (Prov. 12:4).
1
A person can either bring honor or shame to their spouse.
2
"For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy" (1 Cor. 7:14).
2
A spouse has tremendous influence over his or her entire family. God can save your family through you.




Marriage should be enjoyed

1
"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
1
The Greek word translated to honourable, means valuable, esteemed, beloved or precious.
2
"Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings" (Proverbs 5:18-21).
2
A man should be happy and satisfied with his wife.




Christ's relationship to the church is described as a marriage

1
"Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready" (Rev. 19:7).
1
Just as a bride prepares for her wedding, God's people should prepare for the coming of the bridegroom (Jesus). Getting married is something planned for that takes preparation.
2
"Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom" (Matt. 25:1).
2
Jesus also used the parable of the bridegroom and his marriage, emphasizing how each person should be prepared for His second coming.
3
"For as a young man marrieth a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee: and as the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee" (Is. 62:5).
3
God rejoices over His church like a groom rejoices over the bride.




Marriage exemplifies selfless love

1
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephes. 5:25).

"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Ephes. 5:33).
1
True love in a marriage means loving as Christ loves. Because two become one, you love the other as if it is yourself.




Marriage should not be forbidden

1
"Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth" (1 Tim. 4:1-3).
1
Between Christ's death and the second coming of Christ, some will forbid others to marry. This is wrong.




Attempting to disrupt another's marriage

1
"And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matt. 19:5-6).
1
The Greek word translated to "asunder" means to place room between, part or separate. Anything done that separates a married couple, whether it be physical or emotional distraction, is wrong.




Married people become one flesh

1
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
1
The Greek word translated into "cleave" means to glue to, adhere or join.
2
"And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh" (Mark 10:8).
2
Becoming "one flesh" or joining together physically is designed to be enjoyed with your spouse. This joining represents the larger idea of two lives that become shared as one life together.




Perversion of marriage: Becoming one flesh with another

1
"Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." (1 Cor. 6:15-18).
1
Becoming "one flesh" with a harlot is compared to being disloyal to God. The Greek word translated to "fornication" means harlotry, adultery and incest. Becoming one flesh with anyone, other than your spouse, is a sin against your body.




Perversion of marriage: Polygamy

1
"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matt. 5:28).
1
If a man already has one wife, the process of obtaining another wife involves lusting (Greek=desire or set the heart upon) and is therefore adultery.
2
"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband" (1 Cor. 7:2).
2
A man should have his own wife, not wives.
3
"This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach" (1 Tim. 3:1-2).
3
In order to be blameless, a man must only have one wife.




Perversion of marriage: Homosexuality

1
"For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet" (Romans 1:26-27).

"Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire" (Jude 1:7).
1
Women lusting after women and men lusting after men is described as vile, against nature and in error. These actions result in unhappiness. God's commands are pathways to life, not meant to restrict our happiness, but to point us in the way of happiness.




Perversion of marriage: Whoredom

1
"Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness" (Lev. 19:29).
1
A country full of whores results in a country full of wickedness. To be a whore means to be unfaithful and to engage in fornication or adultery.
2
"For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit" (Prov. 23:27).
2
The Greek word translated into "narrow" means trouble, distress, sorrow.
3
"For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie" (Rev. 22:15).
3
The Greek word for "whoremongers" refers to being sexually unrestrained, and specifically includes male prostitutes.




Perversion of marriage: Whoredom

1
"And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house... And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart... So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him... Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves... With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him. He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter... Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth. Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death" (Prov. 7:7-27).
1
A harlot can be very convincing, as described in this story. However, only those who do not "hearken", who lack understanding, will join up with her. The wise will cease and avoid such activities, for they know the result is death. Here again, God is not depriving us of pleasure, but rather He is saving our lives!




Perversion of marriage: Adultery

1
"Thou shalt not commit adultery" (Ex. 20:14).
1
The command forbidding adultery was written directly with the finger of God as part of the Decalogue, or the ten commandments, the eternal law of God.
2
"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind" (1 Cor. 6:9).
2
Those who disobey the law of God, including adulterers, are described as unrighteous.
3
"The eye also of the adulterer waiteth for the twilight, saying, No eye shall see me: and disguiseth his face. In the dark they dig through houses, which they had marked for themselves in the daytime: they know not the light. For the morning is to them even as the shadow of death: if one know them, they are in the terrors of the shadow of death" (Job 24:15-17).
3
Adulterers sneak around at night, constantly afraid of getting caught.




Perversion of marriage: Adultery

1
"Because they have committed villany in Israel, and have committed adultery with their neighbours' wives, and have spoken lying words in my name, which I have not commanded them; even I know, and am a witness, saith the LORD" (Jer. 29:23).

"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (Matt. 19:9).

"But as a wife that committeth adultery, which taketh strangers instead of her husband!" (Ez. 16:32).
1
Adultery is committed with neighbors, strangers, or by divorcing without cause.




Perversion of marriage: Incest

1
"It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife" (1 Cor. 5:1).

"And one hath committed abomination with his neighbour's wife; and another hath lewdly defiled his daughter in law; and another in thee hath humbled his sister, his father's daughter" (Ez. 22:11).
1
The Bible strongly warns against sexual activity with a relative. Note: Certain exceptions are made, such as marrying your deceased brother's wife.




Perversion of marriage: Rape

1
"And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister. And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee. Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her" (II Sam. 13:11-14).
1
Amnon, one of David's sons, forced his sister Tamar to lay with him. This is entirely against the principles of God's kingdom, where force is not used. It is selfish and hurtful, and clearly not part of a happy marriage.




Perversion of marriage: Fornication

1
"And lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and that I shall bewail many which have sinned already, and have not repented of the uncleanness and fornication and lasciviousness which they have committed" (2 Cor. 12:21).
1
The Greek word translated to "fornication" means harlotry, adultery and incest.
2
"Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry" (Col. 3:5).
2
Fornication is also described as a form of idolatry. It is often used figuratively to show disloyalty to God (e.g. "to go a whoring" after other nations, the heathen, wizards, etc.).




Perversion of marriage: Fornication

1
"But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person" (1 Cor. 5:11-13).
1
When a person claims to be a follower of Christ and continues in fornication the Christian is instructed to avoid keeping close company with them. For those who do not yet know Christ, Christians should follow Christ's example and go to them and try to help them.
2
"For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies" (Matt. 15:19).
2
These types of sins do not always show outwardly, but can be cherished within the heart. In either case, they are just as wrong and harmful.




Being single is OK

1
"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband" (1 Cor. 7:1-2).
1
Paul's advice is that it is also good to be single. However, a physical relationship is only blessed as part of a marriage.
2
"I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I" (1 Cor. 7:8).
2
If you become single, or have never married, there is no reason to feel that you are supposed to get married.




A key point: Understand your value

1
"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God" (1 Thess. 4:3-5).
1
The Greek word translated to "honour" means value, esteem, dignity and precious.
2
"If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work" (2 Tim. 2:21).
2
God values you! And He can use you to accomplish good works. In order to be prepared, value yourself by controlling your body. This sanctifies you (purifies and sets you apart for a special use).




A key point: Treasure the eternal over the temporary

1
"For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever" (1 John 2:16-17).
1
Things of this world may bring temporary pleasure, but they fade, leaving you worse off than before. Enjoying pleasure the way God intended, not only brings temporary pleasure, but continues its rewards into the eternal.
2
"To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you" (1 Pet. 1:4).




A key point: Accept forgiveness

1
"By faith the harlot Rahab perished not with them that believed not, when she had received the spies with peace" (Heb. 11:31).
1
Rahab was a prostitute and she was forgiven and is known for her faith.
2
"And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die" (2 Sam 12:13).
2
David sinned by committing adultery and then having the woman's husband killed. God forgave him.
3
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).
3
God will forgive our sins, including sins that have perverted marriage. He will cleanse, giving us a fresh start and empowering our hearts.




A key point: Sin no more

1
"When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more" (John 8:10-11).
1
The woman in this story had committed adultery. Jesus forgave her, and told her to sin no more. Jesus forgives, and then He empowers you to stop repeating the sin.
2
"As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne" (Rev. 3:19-21).
2
Jesus doesn't just forgive and disappear. He gives us power to change our lives. He tells us to overcome (Greek = subdue, prevail and get the victory).




Review the original question

How to have a happy marriage?
  • A. Marriage is out-of-date and all of its benefits and blessings can be enjoyed without it.
  • B. Marriage is love. As long as any two people love each other, whether two men, two women or a man and a woman, the marriage is blessed.
  • C. It doesn't matter if I am unhappily married, because I can always divorce.
  • D. Marriage is happy when enjoyed according to God's Word.
Answer D: Marriage is happy when enjoyed according to God's Word.




End of Study

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